HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @MIA!! THINGS I WOULD GET MIA FOR HER BIRTHDAY IF I COULD.

Happy birthday! I love you! I'm sorry that Etsy doesn't sell any of these! @mia
  1. A secret, unseen season of Friends
    This one is also a bit selfish.
  2. A lifetime supply of Voluspa candles
    I guess I could buy her one candle a month but MY GOD who has the time.
  3. A time machine so she could hang out with Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando.
    Maybe then she would shut up about them!!!!!! Jk
  4. A phone with a camera that can actually take a good picture of the moon.
    One time, she stopped the car in the middle of the road to make sure I saw how pretty the moon was. She always tries to take pictures of it and they never come out as nice as she wants them to.
  5. A sit down lunch at a diner with the cast of Seinfeld.
    I would attend as well. Jerry would then definitively say that I'm the George and Mia's the Jerry.
  6. A promise that I would never put my mouth on a ketchup packet in her presence ever again.
  7. A gift certificate that is good for one murder, committed by me, no expiration date.
    I feel like people would be a lot less likely to piss her off if they knew that at any moment, I could actually murder them.
  8. A promise that my room and car will always be clean.
    Hahahahahaha