HAS RYAN MURPHY EVER SEEN A SHOW CHOIR? OR HOW GLEE GETS SHOW CHOIR SO, SO WRONG

From a former show choir member. I've been waiting to make this list for years!!
  1. In group numbers, Glee has one or two people singing solos and the rest of the choir essentially does backup vocals
    Do you know how many parents would have lost their shit if that happened at every concert? They're paying hundreds of dollars a year for this bullshit and then they're forced to watch another kid basically do a solo concert? Or how many kids would have lost their shit? In group numbers, we would occasionally have soloists sing a verse or do some runs at the end but never the way Glee does it. Photo: Example of NO ONE showboating in the front for a solo!
  2. Seemingly bottomless budget for costumes
    We had a max of 3-4 different costumes for each show and that was only when we were competing. When we had to wear an alternate costume (i.e. Wearing all black with a pop of color for a number from Pippin), we provided it ourselves so they were never 100% identical as shown on Glee. Photo: I wore that dress for 3 years in a row!! 3 YEARS!
  3. Overuse of pop music vs. musical theatre
    If anyone had walked into our choir room and said "hey, I was thinking maybe this week, we could do a Ke$ha number", we would have buried them under our full scale Les Miserables barricade. Photo: Our Les Mis performance. I had the Eponine solo, so...
  4. Choreography wasn't learned in a day
    We would spend weeks with a professional choreographer learning our numbers. He was a flamboyantly gay, bald man named Andy and I worshipped him. We would be required to attend 6 hour rehearsals 3x a week with an hour long cardio workout before that. If we had attempted to "wing it" before going onstage, we would have been beaten to death by tap shoes. Photo: me smiling through the pain of learning another move to "Luck Be a Lady"
  5. The parents were just as invested as the kids
    Where are the parents on Glee?! WHERE?! Why aren't they chaperoning, sewing costumes, holding fundraisers etc? The parents were so involved in ours that it was weird and gross. They would get overly involved and sometimes become more catty than the kids. There were rumors of affairs and drunken debauchery. Nowadays, it would probably be the stuff Andy Cohen could only dream of. Photo: None provided, thank god.
  6. BONUS WHAT GLEE GOT RIGHT: The incestuous relationships
    I feel like this is true of any artistic group, but in high school I only ever dated, hooked up with, hung out with people from show choir. I met my best friend on the first day of our summer show choir workshop freshman year of high school and I was her maid of honor last year. I met my now ex-boyfriend in choir and we dated for 6 years. It was a tangled web of hormones and Sondheim.