I WILL SWIPE LEFT IF...
- •You say "no drama"Sorry, dude, but if you feel it *necessary* to say that, odds are you invite the drama.
- •Any mention of TrumpYour joke in your bio about him probably isn't funny. And if you're supporting him, I'd probably just spend our entire first date berating you.
- •Dreadlocks on a white guyYou're not a character in True Romance. You are white. Your mom's name is probably Donna.
- •More than 2 of your pictures involve you working out.Yeah...sorry, bro. Working out isn't a personality.
- •All of your pictures were clearly taken by you and you alone.Do you have friends? Family? Or did you murder them in some psychotic fit?
- •Your bio is a joke stolen from a stand-up comedian and you don't credit them.Cool! I like John Mulaney too!
- •One of your pictures is clearly with an ex.Yes, you look good in it, but cmon man.
- •You make a weird attempt to make me feel comfortable in your profile.I saw one yesterday and the first sentence was "I SWEAR I'M NOT A DOUCHE!!!" Why did you feel the need to say that?
- •You live in Santa Monica.