1. You say "no drama"
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    Sorry, dude, but if you feel it *necessary* to say that, odds are you invite the drama.
  2. Any mention of Trump
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    Your joke in your bio about him probably isn't funny. And if you're supporting him, I'd probably just spend our entire first date berating you.
  3. Dreadlocks on a white guy
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    You're not a character in True Romance. You are white. Your mom's name is probably Donna.
  4. More than 2 of your pictures involve you working out.
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    Yeah...sorry, bro. Working out isn't a personality.
  5. All of your pictures were clearly taken by you and you alone.
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    Do you have friends? Family? Or did you murder them in some psychotic fit?
  6. Your bio is a joke stolen from a stand-up comedian and you don't credit them.
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    Cool! I like John Mulaney too!
  7. One of your pictures is clearly with an ex.
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    Yes, you look good in it, but cmon man.
  8. You make a weird attempt to make me feel comfortable in your profile.
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    I saw one yesterday and the first sentence was "I SWEAR I'M NOT A DOUCHE!!!" Why did you feel the need to say that?
  9. You live in Santa Monica.
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