1. When my brother pants-ed me in front of my entire second grade class!
    Our lines were passing each other in the hallway and he ducked out of his REAL QUICK LIKE and pants-ed me. Big topic at family therapy that month.
  2. When I told a girl named "Joel" that I liked her name and she then informed me that she was, in fact, a man!
    This happened LESS THAN A MONTH AGO. It was at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and he was an employee who pointed me in the direction of a bathroom. I'd like to figure out a way to pay for his children's college.
  3. When I face planted off of a bar stool (sober, just clumsy) at my friend's birthday party and my chin split open and I bled everywhere, and got a concussion!
    Now I have a very large scar on my chin! Apparently, if you go to "The Smog Cutter" in LA, my blood is still on the floor. Spoooooky!
  4. When I thought I could pop the pit out of an avocado with a knife and ended up putting the knife straight into my hand!
    My friends can't let me see an avocado, eat guacamole, or just let me exist without bringing this up. Cannot stress enough how clumsy and stupid I am.
  5. When a group of people at work helped me connect my iPad to wifi and it when connected, porn reloaded and started playing!
  6. When @mia and I were walking down the street and I tripped and fell and an old man tried to help me up and I yelled at him!
    I feel very bad about this.
  7. When Eileen McNamara told Peter Altschueler that I "like liked" him!
    5th grade. I still haven't forgiven you, Eileen!
  8. When I said "That'll do pig, that'll do" to a family friend!
    I was 12 and my brother and I always said this to each other. Without thinking, I said it to a family friend named, Tiffany. She was a bigger girl and did not understand the Babe reference. Yikes!
  9. Paying for and attending two Jonas Brothers concerts!