NON-NEGOTIABLE THINGS IN A PARTNER

Yay list requests! Also this is easy because when I start dating someone, I can just print this out and give it to him. Thanks, @joakes!!
  1. Similar sense of humor
    Sense of humor is important but a SIMILAR sense of humor is even better. I can't go my whole life pretending to laugh at every single Jackass movie.
  2. Willingness to look silly
    Listen, I love couples Halloween costumes. I love a good photobooth. I love dancing like an idiot during wedding receptions. I need you to not only be willing, but to want to do all of this goofiness with me.
  3. Make the coffee before I wake up
    Seriously, I can't express how important this is to me. Even if you don't drink it, it will make my ice cold heart so warm if I wake up to already made coffee.
  4. Maintained finger nails
    I don't need you to get weekly manicures, but I need you to not have talons.
  5. Watch RuPaul's Drag Race and/or Doctor Who with me or at least feign interest when I wax poetic about them
  6. Teach me things but don't be patronizing
    I love learning about what you love! Or are you really good at cooking something? Show me! But don't be an asshole about it.
  7. Like dogs
  8. Gain my brother's approval and get along with him.
    My brother is cool and a giant dork. What he thinks means a lot to me. He likes sports, the TV show "Suits", David Guetta, and country music.
  9. I don't expect/demand flowers but it'd be cool if you wanted to surprise me with sunflowers every once in a while.