QUOTES FROM MY FAVORITE 5 YEAR OLD TODAY

He's big into toilet humor.
  1. I've been babysitting Dash for three years. His parents got divorced two years ago and he's handled it so well. He's the only kid I'll watch even when I don't need the money.
    This was us two years ago about to go HAM at the park.
  2. "Why are you being funny?"
    I WAS BORN THIS WAY, KID
  3. "Your boobies are bigger than Mommy's."
  4. "Which one do you have to do?"
    When he was waiting for me outside the bathroom.
  5. "You're a stinky skunk!"
  6. "My stomach hurts because it's pulling out the poops."
  7. "I like the songs Kanye sings before he went crazy."
  8. "What are you farting on about?"
    He meant what are you talking about.
  9. Bonus: Us trying to recreate the mirror picture. He did not comply.
  10. Double bonus: there's a video on my Instagram of Dash rapping his favorite Kanye lyrics.