AKA I'm a monster
  1. "No, I'm sorry, but their baby is not cute AT ALL."
  2. "A part of me really wants appendicitis because then you get like two weeks of sympathy and attention and then you're totally fine."
  3. "He's black, Jewish, he lived in England for a long time, and his dad is still alive. We're basically opposites, I'm pretty sure he's my soulmate."
  4. "I mean, I'm happy that there's like another hot girl on set because then some of the pressure is off of me."
  5. "He keeps telling me he wants to meet all of my gay friends but I don't know how to tell him that they have like REALLY high standards."
  6. "I made out with him because he said he had a Bentley and then when he went to pay the tab, I just Irish goodbyed my way into a cab"
  7. And the worst thing I've ever said in my entire life....
  8. "No, I fucking hated Lucy. I think she was faking some of it."
    About a girl who was in elementary school with @mia and I. She was in a car accident in 4th grade and had to use a brace and a walker and oh my god I'm going to hell.