TIMES WHEN MY DAD WAS AT HIS MOST DAD-EST

He peaced out in 2004 ❤️
  1. He loved the song "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton and reeeeally liked to sing along to it loudly in the car.
  2. At the very fragile age of 12, he lovingly told me that he would pay for me to get a nose job when I turned 16.
    "We're not Jewish but it's a very popular gift and I would happily pay for one for you. Jennifer Grey had a really weird schnozz and she got one and now she's gorgeous! Ruined her career but she looks great!"
  3. Once when we were waiting in line at a drive thru ATM, a truck cut in front of us and my Dad rolled down the window and screamed "NICE CUT, CHEVY!" and it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life.
  4. Once when I was five, we were at my older brother's soccer game and I was playing with my older step-sister on the other side of the field. I got mad and threw a soccer ball straight into her face. My Dad watched the whole thing go down and came immediately over to spank me. I was so scared that I started crying and peed my pants.
    He decided that that was enough punishment in itself and took me home to change.
  5. He had a pair of gold lamé boxers that he got as a gag gift. He put them on once while I was having a sleepover and proceeded to do an impression of Mango from SNL in front of all my friends. More embarrassment.
  6. When I was 12, I started "dating" a 16 year old and Dad shut that shit down REAL QUICK. He stood over me when I called the boy and told him it was over.
  7. He told me he was my #1 cheerleader in everything I did and always thought I was going to be an actress. He called me his "Little Lucy" after Lucille Ball.
  8. Whenever we left the house, he would flash my brother and I the peace sign and told us one of the fingers meant "be good" and the other meant "have fun".
  9. His favorite thing to say was "be a pro, not a schmoe".