LAME SUPERPOWERS

  1. Hair dries super fast
  2. When looking in rear-view mirror, objects appear exactly as close as they actually are
  3. Can make alarm snooze with mind
  4. Understand original meaning of auto-corrected texts
  5. Can remember every pair of socks ever owned
  6. Always first to forward cute animal pictures off the Internet
  7. Can predict winner of any reality TV singing competition
  8. Can communicate with rodents
  9. Eating unlimited Fritos without getting sick of the flavor
  10. Ability to look cool in any hat