Top Five Reasons Moving is the WORST

I'm moving 800 miles across the country and I'm ready to just give it up and live in a cardboard box.
  1. Purging the excess. I thought I was good at purging unnecessary stuff until I started packing. WHY DO I HAVE TWO BROKEN ROBOT VACUUMS?!?!
  2. Moving furniture. I moved my couch and was attacked by tumbleweeds of hair and dust. SERIOUSLY! WHY DID I HAVE THOSE TWO ROBOT VACUUMS?!?
  3. Consuming perishables. It starts out all fine and dandy until you get to the last day and all you have to eat is some freezer-burned broccoli and stale Cheetos.
  4. Stains. Move furniture, find weird stains. HOW AM I THE GROSSEST PERSON EVER AND NEVER KNEW IT!?!?
  5. Saying Goodbye. Too many feels. Too little time. Why can't I be as dead inside as my two robot vacuums?