MY PARENT FAILS (OR HOW TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF & YOUR CHILD IN TWO EASY STEPS)

When my boys were growing up, I would sometimes make the mistake of answering their curious questions without thinking. The results...well, judge for yourself...
  1. Flipping people off
    When my oldest was about 5, he discovered the joy of flipping people off. I told him it wasn't nice and not to do it. He then asked me what it meant. I didn't know how to explain what it meant to a child that young. I tried several different explanations. He got more confused. Finally, I told him it was a very mean way of saying someone was dumb, and you should never call anyone dumb. Apparently he thought most of his pre-k class was dumb the next day. The teacher called me and was not happy.
  2. STDs
    I cringe when I remember this one. You would think I would have learned after the incident with my older son. My youngest son asked one day, before he knew what sex was, what STDs were. Again, I panicked. How do you explain STDs without explaining sex? I quickly said an STD is something to do. Huge mistake. We went to my mom's house later that afternoon. My mom went to kiss my son. He said "Not now Meemaw, I have STDs!" and proudly marched away. My mom's chin hit the floor and I was speechless.