THINGS MY ABUELO HAS DONE DURING HIS US VISIT

He came to visit us in the US (his first time) in July and leaves mid-November and has done a lot of weird things but I love him
  1. rip apart a tampon AND a pad
    He had never seen either of them before. My ma found them all ripped up in his room after I left them in the bathroom with my stuff. Cotton everywhere. He's just a curious viejito I guess. Idk what he thought he would find.
  2. Learned how to use the DVR perfectly
    Ok this one is so weird because how my ma who knows English and been using our DVR for MAD YEARS not know how to record a show or turn one on but my abuelo figured it out in like two weeks. That lil old man is suspect.
  3. Synchronize his bathroom schedule with me and Casey
    You know how ppl can sync their periods? Well, he synced up his bathroom visits. We've only got 2 bathrooms!!! Literally as soon as I walk into a bathroom he is trying to open the door 15 seconds after. I can't do anything peacefully!!!
  4. Develop a massive wardrobe but only wear 1 shirt/pants combo everyday
    We literally buy him so many different clothes but he's got this shirt that he had in Honduras that has four front pockets (he literally talks abt how great this shirt is nonstop) and these suit pants that he loves and we will lay out other clothes for him but he will just wear his fav 'fit. Actually really cute tbh.
  5. Finding joy in scaring me
    This viejo KNOWS he old as hell and loves to use that to his advantage. He will make noises like he hurt or fell and then when I run to find him just pop out from behind a door and meow at me. I'm actually gonna die before him from a heart attack caused by his old ass!!! He laugh so hard every time I get scared. Ruthless.
  6. RUIN A WHOLE POT OF MY LUSH DARK ANGELS CLEANSER
    Again my fault for leaving a pot of cleanser in his curious view because it's like black like charcoal and you mix it with water to create a muddy mask ya know and I left the pot on the tub ledge and he opened it and was just touching it and trying to figure out what it was (he doesn't know English) and added water and threw it away!!! I pay $20 (shipping prices since no lush store here and my skin needs dark Angels 😩) for a small pot and he threw it away!!!!
  7. Become obsessed with Burger King chicken nuggets
    So shameful. I guess my ma took him to BK and he got chicken nuggets and now he talks about them nonstop and always wants them. Honestly his taste buds must be FUCKED UP but he is old and his time in America is coming to a close so for now he can have as many nugs as his heart desires. Still gross tho.
  8. Tell me the same 2 stories everyday since July 10th
    Sometimes 2x a day. Honestly if I hear the story abt how he is the only sibling alive because he respected his parents and God granted him a long life because of it and the story about him healing the jerk in town thru god's strength and love one more time I'm gonna explode. I get it, God is good but also let me live.
  9. Use my toothbrush
    And not tell me. The worst realization of my life. His toothbrush is right there why he do that to me???
  10. Drop my toothbrush in a clogged up dirty sink
    He clogged our sink by trying to throw something away in it?? Idk but also dropped my toothbrush in it and didn't say nothing. Maybe he didn't know but also the worst experience.
  11. Have perfect vision despite being old as fuck
    He's got better vision than me. Like he reads his bible with tiny ass print all day and doesn't need glasses. Honestly incredible. God's gift to him he says.
  12. Win my heart 💕
    Honestly I love that lil man and it's so great being able to spend time with him since I was a baby in Honduras. I love everything about him. He's so strange and cute and gives wonderful hugs. I'm gonna miss him entirely too much when he leave in a couple weeks but I feel so lucky to have got to spend the last few months seeing him everyday.