Some of My Favorite Lines I've Written

Hopefully there will be plenty more where this came from...
  1. I'm a perfect best friend goddess, without whom your death would be imminent.
  2. Is something wrong? You've barely touched your quinoa sloppy joe. Is it not sloppy enough?
  3. I'm a human, but I can be better
  4. It looks like a satin red bath bomb went off in here! Let me help you get out of this tub!
  5. I need to be drunk enough to actually be attracted to you, but not so drunk that it can't be considered consensual sex.
  6. Carrie Fisher didn't dress as an intergalactic sex slave for you to get the Star Wars tag wrong.