PETS I HAVE LOVED

Growing up I was the Elmyra Duff of pet ownership...I killed a lot of animals, with love
  1. Joe the parakeet- my brother and I let him fly free. He hit the ceiling fan and things got ugly. Time in possession: 6 weeks
  2. Bo the lizard- he came in a box with air holes. We used an excessively sharp knife to cut open said box. Bo lost his tail that night. He escaped shortly after and was found later in a box of Legos. Time in possession: 2 weeks
  3. Newtsie the newt- possibly one of longest survivors in the Toopes household, Newtsie was a fighter. He lived under a rock in a bowl of water on my desk. Desk lamp was left on by irresponsible child who shall remain nameless. Newtsie fried. Time in possession: 6 years
  4. Cookie the hamster- she was a chewer, alright. It was those rodent teeth, they just keep growing. She chewed through her water bottle flooding her cage. Found floating belly up like many goldfish before her, except she was a hamster. Time in possession: 9 whole months!
  5. Lime the hermit crab- hermit crabs grow out of their shells. I knew this but shells are hard to come by in Ohio. Lime vacated his pretty green shell on a rainy Tuesday. Time in possession: 1 glorious summer
  6. The Nauticals (a civilization of freeze dried sea monkeys)- sadly their whole race met with the same tragic demise, genocide by spilling. Time in possession: Christmas Day 1997
  7. This little nugget- Ellie the puppy, my current pride and joy. Time in possession: I'm responsible now, leave me alone