Behaviors no one told me were abusive

I don't want anyone to be as ignorant as I was
  1. Hating all of my friends, only wanting to hang out one on one or with his friends
  2. Wanting me to be more physical/touchy in public
    I thought that was rude. He thought it was important and berated me about it
  3. Coercion and manipulation centered around sexual behaviors
  4. Crying and threatening to hurt himself because of what I'd done
  5. Crying and threatening to hurt himself because of what he'd done and my response to it
  6. Not letting me be on my phone when I was with him
    I thought it was cute that he wanted all my attention. Really it was controlling.
  7. Being charming with people when he needed to, including giving me lavish gifts
    My parents loved him because he was "so good to me"
  8. Telling someone "I'll kill myself if you ever leave me."
    Or otherwise making someone feel like they cannot get out of the relationship.
    Suggested by   @feminist
  9. Cancelling plans late enough to know I won't go out at all that night.
    He doesn't want to see me, but doesn't want anyone else to either.
    Suggested by   @Boogie
  10. Throwing, breaking, or otherwise damaging things that belong to you.
    This behavior is meant to intimidate and control. No bueno!
    Suggested by   @mchellepeterson
  11. When they insist you prove that you aren't cheating on them by asking you to stop hanging out with anyone they suspect (like your best friend).
    Suggested by   @kamina
  12. Backhanded compliments
    Nothing ever sincere. Always a compliment as a veiled criticism
    Suggested by   @dreadpiratemama
  13. Insisting upon handling the money/bills
    Maybe they are "better at it" but truly want to leave you without the resources to leave.
    Suggested by   @perrimyam
  14. Insulting friends/spreading rumors about you
    So it seems like 1) you don't want to hang out with those losers anyway, 2) no one wants to hang out with you
    Suggested by   @perrimyam