SIGNS YOU'RE NOT HUMAN

If these aren't true - watch out! You're might not be a human being!
  1. 1.
    You stay up late at night longing for a firmware update.
  2. 2.
    All your T-shirts have extra holes for your tentacles.
  3. 3.
    You're neck is really long and also has six musical strings on it.
    Uh oh! Someone's a guitar...
  4. 4.
    People keep singing into your head and trying to stick a cable in your butt.
  5. 5.
    People keep shaking you and asking you to predict their future.
  6. 6.
    You really like to take records and spin them on your needle-sharp belly button.
    (If this is true, you're probably a record player.)
  7. 7.
    You have a tattoo in the shape of "expires 07/16"
    Unless you had a very macabre tattoo artist, you're probably a package of deli meat or something.
  8. 8.
    Every time someone says "hit the lights!" you get punched in the face.
  9. 9.
    Someone called you a tall glass of water but then also drank out of you and broke you in the sink.
  10. 10.
    You're dancer.