THE THOUGHT PROCESS OF MY TOOTHBRUSH THIS MORNING

  1. Boy oh boy! I can't wait for Human to wake up!
  2. Here she is! Boy oh boy, it'll sure be great to see the whole gang again.
  3. Meg the Molar and her sister Mira, Cara the Canine, and of course ole Vaneer Sally.
  4. A lot of people treat Vaneer Sally differently because she's a fake tooth, but I don't! Maybe today's the day I'll finally tell her that I love her...
  5. Screw it! You're only a toothbrush for so long - time is precious, and I'm going to tell her.
  6. Look! Human is using Annie the Acne Solution for her face! That means I'm next! Wheeee!
  7. Wait.
  8. Where are you going.
  9. Human? Come back! You can't just forget.
  10. There were so many things I wanted to say.
  11. Wait, you're coming back! You're coming back!
  12. What's that in your hand.
  13. Is that...is that airtight package what I think it is?
  14. No. No no no.
  15. A Colgate Brand new toothbrush with Extra Hard Bristles and Extreme Whitening Power?
  16. Don't do this!
  17. Look, I may not be Extra Hard, but I'm hard enough! What do you need, a comb in your mouth?!
  18. Is thi because my bristles are slightly stained! Just because I'm not as hard as I used to be doesn't mean I can't satisfy you!!
  19. Where are you putting me!?
  20. Oh god. You've put me next to Terry the Toilet Bowl Spray.
  21. Just throw me out. Don't do this.
  22. Oh god - I never told Vaneer Sally how I felt. All those wasted months.
  23. Now she'll be getting intimate with fucking Colgate Hard-Bristles while I spot-clean poop spots.
  24. Life is cruel