ADJECTIVES FOR THIS SHIT SANDWICH OF A BUILDING

We're getting a lot of new apartments & condos that look identical to this crap. (Think shit sandwich was used in Veep- funny visual). Wondered if anyone else has a great marketing ('sparkle' word in ES) for this lovely, unique project.
  1. Uninspired
  2. Dockeresque
  3. Pedestrian
  4. Brayish (brown + grey)
  5. Million-in-one
  6. Bland
  7. Prosaic
  8. Lackluster
  9. Fibercementy
  10. Michaelsish
  11. Ordinary
  12. Comfortable
  13. "Aggressively unpretentious"
    Suggested by   @Gola