The Precious Moments of Bedtime

a live listing
  1. The four-year-old tells me I'll be in big trouble if I don't open their door.
    It doesn't lock, so we tie the handle to a hook to prevent escape. I'm pretty sure it's not a fire hazard or anything.
  2. I can hear the two-year-old ripping something.
    Probably just the winter plastic that's still on their windows, but possibly a book. Possibly the sheets. Who can say with these creative little buggers.
  3. The 4yo needs to go poop.
    Even if that wouldn't fall under torture necessarily, if I ignore him I'm really just making more work for myself later. Like facing The Golgothan.
  4. The 2yo lost her water bottle. It's a tragedy.
    Oh look, it's still in your fucking bed, child, under your thousands of stuffed bunnies.
  5. Door has stayed shut for eight whole minutes.
    And I don't even hear them jumping on the beds. Just singing to themselves (Hamilton songs, natch). Might be in the home stretch, knock on wood.
  6. GODAMMIT I accidentally left my Kindle in there.
    Ugh, guess I'll do laundry until I can sneak back in.