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  1. Walking down a long hallway and someone is walking toward you for what seems like forever!
    Do you make eye contact with them when you first see them and then stare at each other the whole way? Do you pretend you don't see them until the last minute and then all of the sudden be like "oh heyyyyyy, Jim! How are you?" Or be a jerk and ignore them the whole time? Or turnaround and act you you left something somewhere?
  2. Waiting for someone in the break room to finish using the microwave. 😒
    They take their food out and you think they're done and move to put your craptastic TV dinner in and then BAM! They were just doing the midway stir and need another minute.
  3. Pretending you don't hear your cube neighbor totally rocking out to Snow's "Informer" on their headphones.... 😳
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My Christmas morning game is strong!!
  1. I'm OD'ing on over-salted homemade Chex Mix
  2. Choking on Chex Mix while laughing at A Very Murray Christmas on Netflix
  3. I'm watching my husband assemble a castle tent for our 4-year-old
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Hot and fresh out of the oven...and maybe a couple of raw ones too. I can neither confirm nor deny that.
  1. Holy shit.
  2. I was put on this earth to eat these cookies.
  3. Whoever said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" has never tasted these. And they can kiss my ass too because that is the dumbest cliché ever.
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  1. The 6,736 quasi-profound quotes on my news feed on a daily basis
  2. People reposting and perpetuating grossly inaccurate or just blatantly false memes
  3. The political wars about everything
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  1. Don't let my sister pass on her irrational fear of everything in life (cause by watching too much Dateline, 48 Hours, and 20/20) on to my daughter.
  2. The bright orange battery operated device that may or may not be in my top nightstand drawer did not belong to me and was planted there by someone.
  3. Let Justin Timberlake know that his biggest fan and potential future wife is gone.
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  1. He's making his best effort to stir up conflict while we are visiting his family by turning on "Meet the Press" when he KNOWS that his family and I are opposite ends of the political spectrum.
  2. He ate the last sausage cheese ball for breakfast.
  1. 1.
    Singing well enough for others to want to hear
  2. 2.
    Driving a stick shift without having a panic attack at every stop sign/light or steep hill
  3. 3.
    Cooking two things at the same time without burning one of them
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  1. Why aren't more of my Facebook/Twitter friends on here?
  2. I have wished for an app like this about 3,725,913 times throughout my life when I've made random lists in my head in the shower.
  3. Seriously, why did I only find out about this today?
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  1. Homeland
  2. House of Cards
  3. (tie) Silicon Valley or Girls
  1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
    "It's understanding that makes it possible for us to tolerate a person like yourself."
  2. Friday
    'Cause it's Friday...you ain't got no job...
  3. Spaceballs
    "What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz...chicken?!?"
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