Write this down.
  1. Only get married if you are both convinced that you have hit the jackpot.
    Fight over who married higher up and why.
  2. Share all passwords.
    In other words, have nothing to hide.
  3. Share all money.
    It's okay if you have separate spending accounts or something to help you not overspend but the "his" money and "her" money thing is WEIRD.
  4. Share all responsibilities.
    Maybe he cooks and you do the dishes. Maybe you have to draw straws over who cleans the bathroom. Whatever it is, make sure it's spread pretty equally.
  5. Think of your spouse before you think of yourself.
    Always. If you followed my first piece of advice, they'll be doing the same. Go out of your way to honor them, speak their love language, give them your attention.
  6. Go on dates.
    Whatever it takes, don't stop dating. Even if you're up to your ears in diapers and tantrums and homework- especially then, get a sitter and go on a date.
  7. Be adventurous together.
    Maybe that means something different to you than it does to me. Hike, try new food, skydive, run a race, try a new hobby. Just keep growing together.
  8. Have sex.
    Be adventurous here, too. Don't let long periods go in between. You need to have sex regularly to not be an asshole to your spouse.
  9. Communicate.
    Over time, yes, your spouse will be able to read you like a book. You still need to talk. Tell them how you feel and why you think you feel that way. If you think you know what will help, tell them that too. Don't wait for them to guess or surprise you, because you WILL be disappointed.
  10. Touch.
    Hold hands, rest your palm on her knee, hug, play with her hair, caress his cheek. Little touches change everything.
  11. Don't look at porn.
    Be hot for what you got. I have met couples who feel like watching porn together helps their sex life. Nope.
  12. Know your weaknesses and their strengths.
    Don't be embarrassed if you're weak in an area that they shine, be grateful. If you are unorganized and they have their underwear folded (ah hem, @mbmurray23 ) thank God that they make up for where you lack.
  13. Notice and say thank you.
    If you left a sink full of dishes and you comeback to an empty sink, notice that out loud and thank your spouse. Make it a habit to compliment and thank them for something every day.
  14. Write notes.
    Texts, emails, hand written notes in lunch boxes. Just a reminder that you love them and care how their day is going throughout the day.
  15. Know their love language and speak it.
    Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gifts.
  16. Go to marriage counseling.
    Matt and I have had to go precisely two times in our marriage. Both times the counselor said one thing that helped my big old stupid head "get it" and then we were fine.
  17. Don't forget to laugh.
    Face the world together ready to laugh, have a good time, and age with your best friend at your side.
  18. Static