WHY I AM FORCING MYSELF TO BE A MORNING PERSON
And why maybe you should, too.
- •First, let me say that I am the nightingest owliest of all night owls. I come alive at night with ideas and energy.In the morning I feel like I have a hangover, no matter how many months it's been since my last drink.
- •But lately I've been having a hard time with my life.And that's awful because I literally have the most incredible life.
- •I've been unhappy with my kids.Who are precious.
- •And dreading the days.Which isn't like me.
- •I've talked to Matt about seeing a doctor.But depression doesn't just happen out of the blue for no reason, does it? Like, 0-100 with no trigger?
- •But I thought I would do everything possible for a determined amount of time to reset myself.Just to be clear, I am having no dangerous thoughts, or else I would immediately be seen. I do not want to self harm or harm others, I'm just grouchy and discontent. I've lost hope of happiness in my normal, every day life. And while I think it's normal to have a day like that every once in a while, I felt like this for 2 weeks straight.
- •So for the last week I have been waking up between 4:30-5:30 AM and getting outside by myself right away.Without drinking coffee 😱
- •And it's been glorious!I've been tired, but I feel like me! Happy, excited about the day, in love with my kids.
- •My perspective has changed.I can see the big picture again!
- •Hiking in the morning made me realize a few important things.So much time to think in quiet!
- •1. It's good to have time to be ME before I need to be MOM."Good" may be an understatement.
- •2. It's good to connect with God through nature before I have time to do anything else."Good" is definitely an understatement.
- •3. Life is beautiful.And I am grateful to have mine in particular. My business is going well, my kids are happy and healthy, my husband is LITERALLY the best man in the entire world.
- •4. I will do ANYTHING for my kids to grow up being unshakably sure of my love.Including, but not limited to, seeking help for mental illness if this does turn out to be depression, which I'm still watching for. I wish my Mom had done the same. I won't repeat her mistake here.
- •So that's the story of why this night owl is becoming an early bird. 🐥I don't often "get real" on li.st , thanks for sticking with me on this one 😘
- •"Contentment is a sweet, inward heart-thing. It is a work of the Spirit indoors." Jonathan Burroughs