ADELE'S 25, A TRACK BY TRACK FIRST LISTEN

I took a walk in a comfy sweater and listened to this once through for the first time. Sorry if there are typos, my vision was a little blurred by a deluge of tears. Honestly I need a Pedialyte to rehydrate. I loved it, and I can't wait to start complaining in two months that we don't have 26!
  1. Hello
    You already broke Vevo watching this and memes it to death. Move on.
  2. Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
    Play this at Thanksgiving for your cousin who loves blanket scarves and brunch hats. You know what I mean. Give her exactly three glasses of Pinot Greeej and watch her do a seated shoulder dance.
  3. I Miss You
    This one is slinky! Adele says "hard" exactly 9 thousand times in this song. Adele misses "you when the lights go down." Guess what happens when the lights go out? SEX. ADELE LOVES DOING SEX STUFF, & she wants you to know it. I sure hope she finds a new sex person soon, to do the thing she loves so much.
  4. When We Were Young
    When I first heard the live version of this I understood the lyrics as English phrases that sounded nice over the melody, but now that I hear the studio version I understand this is my exact drunk internal monologue when I see an ex at a party. 'You look like a movie, you sound like a song,' is exactly the kind of histrionics I go to when I've had a couple Lime-a-ritas and get in my feelings. It's perfect and I love it.
  5. Remedy
    This seems like it would be a wonderful duet on a season finale of Dance Moms. Maybe Maddie and Chloe's moms will never see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean that they can't put aside their differences to bring a tear to all our eyes!
  6. Water Under the Bridge
    "Please welcome to the stage--once she was Rolling in the Deep but now one of my best friends, and I roll VERY deep. 'Hello', it's Adele!"
  7. River Lea
    What the fuck is a Riverly?
  8. Love In The Dark
    I feel like this would be a really impactful montage song at the end of a Greys Anatomy episode, but gat seems like it would be very expensive. Is that show still on? I just Googled it. Turns out it is!
  9. Million Years Ago
    Why did we ever allow anyone else to record a Bond theme after Adele? The theme for SPECTRE should've been Adele covering "You Only Live Twice." No the theme for SPECTRE should've just been "Skyfall" again. Man, that song is good.
  10. All I Ask
    I can't wait to call in to Delilah's radio show and request this song and send out to "somebody special. You know who you are." Then I'm going to request this entire album, and Delilah will ask me to hang up. Before I am cut off I will call her an enemy of love. OH MY GOD A KEY CHANGE!