IT'S NOT AS IF I HAVEN'T TRIED TO...

(Not a New Year's resolutions list)
  1. Be a better person
    Gotta lead with that one
  2. Not have road rage
    But seriously, how hard is it to learn how to drive YOU ASSHOLE LEXUS DRIVER/ CABBIE DRIVING IN THE TURNING LINE/ don't even get me started on GODDAMN bikers
  3. Understand physics
    I just fail to see how reversing the direction of a fan blade pushes air down versus up. Doesn't make sense and never will
  4. Like jazz music
    Blech
  5. Be informed about politics
    Too many self-serving politicians in a job designed to be a service to others. It's disheartening and easier on my feelings to just ignore it
  6. Learn to drive a manual transmission
    See what happened was, I was 17 and trying to drive my friend's truck up the steepest road in our town and I kept stalling and gave up and now it's been 20 years. Too late to try again?
  7. Mow the lawn
    A lie. Never tried it and don't intend to.