Everyone Loves Connor: The Rose Schaefer Story: A Calvinist in Athleisure
Because it's the birthday of @roseschaefer and I will someday ghostwrite her autobiography. Here are the working chapter titles, in no particular order. Happy birthday, Rose!
- •"All of Me is Damp"
- •Backup Careers: Window Painter, Bartender, Uber Driver, Art Forger, Pool Shark
- •Twitchy Weirdo
- •Misanthropy: It Isn't Easy
- •"I Missed Homecoming Princess by One Vote"
- •Reasons People Like Me: "She's from Portland and She Has a Thigh Gap"
- •Loose Rubber Gloves and Nail Polish
- •"I'm Excavating My Skittles Now"
- •B-List Bridesmaids
- •"I Would Have Been Really Good on the House Un-American Activities Committee"
- •"And That's Why I Don't Like Warm, Soft Cheese"
- •"I Have the Attention Span of an Avocado"
- •Boy Crazy at 7
- •Migraine Extravaganza