THINGS THAT ARE NOT IN TACOS

These things are not normally found inside tacos
  1. 1.
    Another taco
  2. 2.
    Joey Fatone
  3. 3.
    Haverford College
  4. 4.
    The very thin, rhizomatic shoots of wild grasses
  5. 5.
    Overall penchants for or against natural sodas
  6. 6.
    Cauliflower
  7. 7.
    Recalcitrance
  8. 8.
    Ford F-150 Supercab
  9. 9.
    France
  10. 10.
    Pho ga
  11. 11.
    Hirsuteness
  12. 12.
    One red delicious apple, whole
  13. 13.
    The optative grammatical mood
  14. 14.
    Lecithin
  15. 15.
    Felted wool apparel, overly dryer shrunk
  16. 16.
    A Thousand Plateaus
  17. 17.
    Rugby union
  18. 18.
    Port Bainbridge
  19. 19.
    Telnet
  20. 20.
    Sexual preference
  21. 21.
    The Los Angeles Raiders
  22. 22.
    That match of clay court tennis you once played in Mexico
  23. 23.
    Greed
  24. 24.
    Petroleum engineering
  25. 25.
    The lie about the clay court tennis match
  26. 26.
    A thousand tiny worries
  27. 27.
    Romeo Fernandez
  28. 28.
    Parsippany New Jersey
  29. 29.
    The eyes of an actual angel
  30. 30.
    Gravy
  31. 31.
    Blood libel
  32. 32.
    The passion of a passionate startup job applicant
  33. 33.
    Crippling self doubt
  34. 34.
    A fictional hellmouth
  35. 35.
    1996
  36. 36.
    Invisibility
  37. 37.
    Ceramics
  38. 38.
    Diathernal
  39. 39.
    Two fists, or more
  40. 40.
    New York Mets fandom
  41. 41.
    Metadiacursivity
  42. 42.
    The overall sense of foreboding associated with the night before an out of town trip
  43. 43.
    Nail varnish
  44. 44.
    Certainty about the exact hue of the color puce
  45. 45.
    The tenderness of a bruise
  46. 46.
    The bubble of cloistered assumption in the old neighborhood
  47. 47.
    A true friend
  48. 48.
    The Clabber Girl brand usage guide
  49. 49.
    A glance up from a smartphone
  50. 50.
    Rebar
  51. 51.
    The copper pipes stolen from the abandoned houses in the part of town you don't freuqent
  52. 52.
    Patience for another day
  53. 53.
    Too many croutons
  54. 54.
    The disappointment of a Hershey bar, fused to its ultimate sufficiency
  55. 55.
    Litmus paper
  56. 56.
    Saline drip
  57. 57.
    Soap
  58. 58.
    The ridge of light on the hill at golden hour
  59. 59.
    The word "starter" as an alternative for "appetizer"
  60. 60.
    Opportunism
  61. 61.
    The Metro Orange Line
  62. 62.
    The celluloid base of a film emulsion
  63. 63.
    The perky turn of a small upturned nose
  64. 64.
    Reddit
  65. 65.
    The unusual sexual proclivities of the bonobo
  66. 66.
    Diplomacy
  67. 67.
    The pothole on the way back from swim team practice
  68. 68.
    The thing that everyone has but me
  69. 69.
    Affect theory
  70. 70.
    A green Trapper Keeper notebook insert
  71. 71.
    The crisp cool of autumn
  72. 72.
    A residential real estate sale counteroffer
  73. 73.
    Elie Wiesel
  74. 74.
    The argument you overheard in Dutch at Schipol airport, none of which you understood but whose overall shape you felt filling public space uncomfortably
  75. 75.
    Countable infinity
  76. 76.
    Ann Coulter
  77. 77.
    Welcome but unnecessary assistance from a younger relative
  78. 78.
    "Russians," by Sting
  79. 79.
    The Comcast service window, 8am-12pm
  80. 80.
    Triangularity
  81. 81.
    Gilded-edged pages of books that are not bibles
  82. 82.
    Val Kilmer's career
  83. 83.
    The disappointment associated with prolonged Internet use
  84. 84.
    The high cheekbones of the woman in the elevator
  85. 85.
    A supermarket shelf's worth of superfluous mustard options
  86. 86.
    The faint tap of fingernails on a touchscreen
  87. 87.
    The former colonies of the United Kingdom
  88. 88.
    Iron-transfer t-shirt errors
  89. 89.
    The best you could muster under the circumstances
  90. 90.
    A gullible man whose dreams are overly realistic
  91. 91.
    The discomfort of the dress shirt's extra buttons digging into your side
  92. 92.
    Spork tines
  93. 93.
    Obligatory volunteer work
  94. 94.
    Counting down from three in order to quell the undesirable behavior of a child
  95. 95.
    The difference between parenthesis in prose and in Lisp
  96. 96.
    The number ninety-six
  97. 97.
    The spent, oily skin of a stick of butter
  98. 98.
    VCR tracking controls
  99. 99.
    The app crashing just before you were about to post a lengthy but unnecessary unit of #content to the Internet