2015 in a nutshell

  1. I got my first tattoo.
    It stung. I didn't cry.
  2. I learnt how to say no to the person that I hadn't been able to say no to for two years.
    It felt good. It felt hard.
  3. I smoked cigarettes because I thought they would fill a void.
    They didn't.
  4. I drank tequila because I thought it would fill a void.
    It didn't.
  5. I started writing songs. I started writing plays.
  6. I started taking pieces of myself and putting them on paper so the world could understand me.
    Or so I could understand me. I still don't.
  7. I bought a piano. It's my favourite part of my room.
  8. I went to London. It was magic.
  9. I went to New York. It was magic.
    It still is magic.
  10. I woke up next to the wrong people.
    But I also woke up next to the right people.
  11. I made mistakes. I hurt people.
    I'm sorry.
  12. I had good auditions. I had bad auditions.
    In the end, I stopped caring and I just had fun auditions.
  13. I was so happy I thought my beating heart was going to burst out of my chest.
  14. I was so miserable, I thought the same heart was going to melt my bones.
  15. I met wonderful new friends, I lost wonderful old friends.
  16. I met people I am strangely certain I will have for the rest of my life.
  17. I fell. Over whiskey shots and neck kisses. Over long train rides, and interlaced fingers.
    Over words that can never be taken back.
  18. I was so scared, I could feel my heart shaking.
  19. I was happy. I was sad.
    I was.