Books I Would Recommend but Don't Because I'm Afraid You Won't Love Them Like I Do and Then Tell ME

To be clear, these are not recommendations and I do not want to hear what you think about them.
  1. 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami
    I know, it is long, not much seems to happen and you have difficulty concentrating.
  2. Gustave Flaubert's collection of letters
    Gustave who, you say? Oh just a funny dude from a different century. Do not read if you detest people being witty.
  3. Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov
    Sure, Lolita is more famous and nobody can pronounce this title. Never speak to me again if you don't like this one.
  4. Everything by W.H. Auden
    It doesn't have to rhyme to be a poem. But he often does. But still, it doesn't.
  5. The short and tragic life of Robert Peace: a brilliant young man who left Newark for the Ivy League by Jeff Hobbs
    Heart wrenching.