CRAZY THINGS I WISH I COULD GET FOR CHRISTMAS

That don't involve like, World Peace.
  1. 1.
    A trip to Harry Potter World πŸš‚πŸ°
    Yes, I spend a lot of time trying to make my inner six-year-old happy. One of us should be.
  2. 2.
    Someone to help organize my tiny room so I could fit a desk in here. Or a bird cage.β¬‡οΈβ†—οΈβ†˜οΈβ†™οΈ
    Or both.
  3. 3.
    Maybe I should ask for a larger place to live.🏑
  4. 4.
    A new job. 🍾
    The right new job might actually take care of requests 1-3. I knew I should always draft before doing these.
  5. 5.
    A dress with real lights in it.πŸ‘—
    Lupita Nyong'o wore one on The Daily Show and I've been dreaming of a dress with lights my WHOLE LIFE. (See #1).
  6. 6.
    Fluevogs.πŸ‘ 
    I blame @hkath
  7. 7.
    A book contract.πŸ“š
  8. 8.
    One of those fancy cosmetic subscriptions where they send you a box every month. πŸ’…πŸΌ
  9. 9.
    Someone to grade my papers. ✍🏼
    You may think this is part of my job and judge me. But, I get paid hourly--and only for contact hours. That's right! Professor with an advanced degree getting paid 8 hours a week. Hope that makes you feel good, America. Now grade my papers. (Hey, I already did the heavy lifting and edited the drafts.)
  10. 10.
    The Cleveland Indians in the World Series. πŸŽ‰βšΎοΈπŸŽ‰βšΎοΈ