I know, assholes will send me ALL of these things.
  1. Elf on the shelf.
    That bastard is creepy.
  2. Cheese.
    Dairy in general. Can't eat it. Not kidding. Not being a delicate flower about it.
  3. Diamonds.
    No, really, I just couldn't...!
  4. NRA Membership.
  5. Wife beaters.
    It's not a good look for me.
  6. Lawn mower.
  7. Calendar.
    My mother will give me 3 when I go home and I won't use any of those, either.
  8. Jam.
    I just don't eat jams/jellies. I have some apricot stuff I baked with last year that I never finished off and man... I should throw that out.
  9. Coupons for 100 snuggles.
    I imagine that logistics will make them difficult to cash in, and if they don't... The odds I want to snuggle with a stranger are pretty low. No offense.
  10. The free T-shirt you got from Citi Bank. Or that environmental group. Or the new granola bar.
    Although I guess I could give it away to next year's Secret Santa! 😄