THINGS SECRET SANTAS SHOULD NOT GIVE ME
I know, assholes will send me ALL of these things.
- •Elf on the shelf.That bastard is creepy.
- •Cheese.Dairy in general. Can't eat it. Not kidding. Not being a delicate flower about it.
- •Diamonds.No, really, I just couldn't...!
- •NRA Membership.
- •Wife beaters.It's not a good look for me.
- •Lawn mower.
- •Calendar.My mother will give me 3 when I go home and I won't use any of those, either.
- •Jam.I just don't eat jams/jellies. I have some apricot stuff I baked with last year that I never finished off and man... I should throw that out.
- •Coupons for 100 snuggles.I imagine that logistics will make them difficult to cash in, and if they don't... The odds I want to snuggle with a stranger are pretty low. No offense.
- •The free T-shirt you got from Citi Bank. Or that environmental group. Or the new granola bar.Although I guess I could give it away to next year's Secret Santa! 😄