LIES MY BEST FRIEND TOLD ME THAT I BELIEVED FOR LONGER THAN APPROPRIATE FOR MY AGE
I was and am admittedly very gullible, but she might have been a teenage sociopath. All lies told between the ages of 11-15.
- •She was going to the dentist that afternoon to get teeth removed because she was a vampire.Her parents wanted her to get rid of her fangs. She slept in a coffin that she kept under her bed and took special medicine every morning that eliminated her thirst for human blood.
- •She was dating a 32 year old man that she met at our synagogue and I couldn’t tell her mom because she would get in trouble. His name was Travis.There has never been a Jew named Travis. I blame myself for this one.
- •Her family was homeless and they lived on the street in her neighborhood.The family that actually lived in her house was really nice and let her family pretend they lived there when they had company.
- •She sewed all of her own clothes and just bought the brand patches from the stores and sewed them on to make them look like they were bought.The stores let her do it and sometimes they liked her designs so much that they bought them and sold them in their stores. Her biggest customer was Abercrombie.
- •My cat was an Animagus and could transform into a middle-aged man who wrote poetry and worked at the Ministry of Magic in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department.Once at a sleepover, she got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and they met and became friends. She said I could never meet him because he didn't want too many people to know his secret.
- •I wouldn’t get in trouble if I explained to my parents the health benefits of consuming red wine."It's good for your heart!"
- •She was so fast and athletic because she had been originally raised by wolves.And when the wolves abandoned her, a nice family found her in the woods and adopted her.
- •This Wednesday was Pajama Day for everyone in the fifth grade whose name began with the third vowel.We had a very strict uniform and I got in a lot of trouble for this.
- •She had a horse that lived in South Carolina named Patches.It was brown.