1. I joined my coworkers for happy hour.
  2. On a Wednesday.
    I have to say it in my head in order to spell it correctly.
  3. I'm a high functioning drunk person.
  4. I get WAY more outgoing.
  5. I surprise myself every time at how good I am whilst drunk.
    Yes. I used whilst.
  6. Drunk me knows to close my tab and to also grab my belongings.
    I've done this completely blacked out.
  7. I had two beers and multiple cocktails.
    A nitro stout to start and then three of this thing called "breakfast of champions" at South Side Spirit House in SOMA. and then a "south side" and a Trumer Pilsner and some mystery drink I shared with my coworker.
  8. I haven't had dinner. I case you're thinking this dude can't even hang.
    Not to make excuses, but I'm also small in stature so I'm gonna get drunk quicker.
  9. Fuck.
  10. We started playing Jenga at this bar.
  11. I pulled a tile that said "kiss a stranger on the cheek".
    A female coworker of mine IMMEDIATELY established herself as wing woman and descended upon a beautiful Australian woman who was down to be kissed by this okay-looking human being.
  12. She smelled lovely.
    You forget how soft cheeks are after a while.
  13. If I'm quite drunk... I want to dance.
    I think it's becoming part of my brand.
  14. Now I'm on the train home.
    I live in the East Bay so I have a curfew.
  15. Giphy downsized medium
  16. Were there any typos?
    Like I said... High functioning drunk.