THE HIPSTER ARSENAL

Just a few must-haves if you would like to join the hipster club.
  1. A pack of filterless clove cigarettes rolled by the indigenous people of Guatemala.
  2. A handmade instrument that no one has ever heard of.
  3. A copy of the hate-letter you wrote Kim Kardashian.
  4. A clockwork orange Tshirt that you got for your birthday. (But you don't tell people that, because you don't believe in the concept of birthdays)
  5. Shoes that are so environmentally friendly that they're not even shoes. They're the projected thoughts of shoes from Eskimo children that you symbolically wear on your feet (and actually paid for).
  6. An antique leather water bottle filled with natural spring water which was aged in an oak barrel inside Fidel Castro's basement.