THINGS I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT MAYBE I SHOULD?

  1. 1.
    Beyoncé
    Sorry, everyone. Never listen to her. Never read news stories about her.
  2. 2.
    High-waisted shorts
    Like I get that they're form-flattering or whatever whatever but I don't give a flying buttress. Like who really cares? Idk man
  3. 3.
    Following every primary / caucus
    Yes I'm voting for the first time this year. Yes I'm interested in politics. Yes I care about my country. No, I am definitely not going to watch every single caucus and keep a running mental list of who won what and why.
  4. 4.
    eBay
    Cool, sometimes cheap prices. Cool cool cool cooooolllll I still won't shop there bc who cares? Amazon exists. Local shops exist. eBay freaks me outttttt
  5. 5.
    The Wall Street Journal
    Woooowwww business politics men suits wooooowwwwwww