WAYS TO MAKE A SPECTACLE OF YOURSELF

crave attention? try these 5 small tricks to get noticed fast. doctors hate hin.
  1. create an identity out of some small part of yourself. Are you vegan? straight-edge? gay? Take any small quality or uniqueness and blow it way out of proportion. Allow it to consume you and become you.
  2. Be as loud as possible at the bar. Push girls and skinny guys around, and when confronted, say it was just a joke, or just sucker punch them
  3. anyone who judges you is wrong. There is no way anything is wrong with you. Its everyone else. evaluating yourself realistically is the gateway to being a softspoken pussy.
  4. Do really stupid non-relevant shit "for charity". dress in all zebra print for the world wild life foundation or hula hoop for women's rights
  5. Remember; other people will always be impressed by how much you drank that one time. It wont hurt to exaggerate a little.
  6. When all else fails look for pity. Talk about things that bother you. Note; these do not need to be original or even real. Also; be sure to get upset when people offer reasonable solutions.
  7. Make lists on a failed social media app.