1. We are not a concise people. -Joel Stein
  2. Circumcision has been least challenging part. -Dan Rollman
  3. Everything with us a question. Why? -Mark Rosenblum
  4. Family spends meals discussing other meals. -Jana Loeb
  5. I do not stand idly by. -Daniel Schwartz
  6. Prayer begins with questions not answers. -Alanna Sklover
  7. Rabbi's sermons are lullabies with meaning. -Max Sterenson
  8. I kvetch. And therefore, I am. -Elizabeth Kalman
  9. Loved the food, hated the shiva. -David Hirshey
  10. The Torah's story tells me mine. -Devorah Spilman
  11. Every meal is a Seinfeld episode. -Karen Golden
  12. Visited Dead Sea. Returned with life. -John Wilder
  13. Definitely still wandering, but not lost. -Ruthie Garelik
  14. The Manischewitz made me do it. -Maya Stein
  15. I'm the Messiah...so are you. -Amichai Lau-Lavie
  16. Paying retail is against my religion. -Jennifer Baron
  17. Sorry, I can't stop feeding you. -Naomi Adiv
  18. I should have had the chicken. -Larry David
  19. Free will: God plans, man laughs. -Yael Roberts
  20. God giveth. God taketh away. Goddamnit. -Jacob Berkman
  21. You never write, you never call. -Susan Silver
  22. Crosses don't work on Jewish vampires. -Satya Tretiak
  23. I was in need. Heard: Hineini. -Elissa Froman
  24. Threat of extinction breeds Jewish excellence. -Tovah Feldshuh
  25. Million, million, million, million, million, million? -Hadassah Gross
  26. Christmas: Thank God for Chinese restaurants. -Tamara Straus
  27. Neurotic Jew neurotic about her neurosis. -Danielle Sherman
  28. Others have history; we have memory. -Alexandra Benjamin
  29. Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. -Deuteronomy
  30. Bar Mitzvah video used as blackmail. -Jon Papernik
  31. Israel means "to wrestle." Explains everything. -Tiffany Shlain
  32. I'd prefer more gelt than guilt. -Patricia Carragon
  33. Walter: "I don't roll on Shabbos." -The Big Lebowski
  34. Jewish model, not a model Jew. -Joshua Feldman
  35. Oy. So much room for interpretation. -Betsy Polk Joseph
  36. I hope he finds neurotic erotic. -Liz Nord
  37. I guess I'd always been Rabbi-curious. -Lynn Harris
  38. Life is to dance Hava Nagila. -David Katznelson
  39. We read backward but think forward. -Deborah Copaken Kogan
  40. I'm going to worry about it. -Buck Henry
  41. Can't talk; my hand is broken. -Ellen Ullman
  42. When life meets Torah, blessings emerge. -Jen Gabitz
  43. Others: Prayer: the world's greatest wireless connection