WHY I WON THE LOTTERY OF FRIENDSHIP

@Zeealist is moving back to her cornfield university today and if I could I would give her 1.6 billion more hugs and kisses, but all I can do is write this list. I struck gold when I found this person.
  1. 1.
    She makes me brave.
    From the very first day of 9th grade she's helped me to be fearless. E.g, she convinced me to move to NYC by leaving me a voicemail of her passionately belting Sinatra's "New York, New York."
  2. 2.
    She doesn't take anyone's shit
    She will stand up for herself and others because she's strong and principled. You can't fuck with her.
  3. 3.
    She's the fastest eater I know.
    Most of the time she'll finish her meal and then patiently wait a full 15 minutes for me to catch up.
  4. 4.
    She's a goddess
    Look at that face 😍
  5. 5.
    She's a goddess, cont.
    I don't deserve to stand next to her
  6. 6.
    She can and will make me laugh so hard I pee.
    My ugliest, most uncontrollable belly laughs are caused by this girl.
  7. 7.
    She has a natural gift for story telling.
    This is low key my favorite thing about her. I could listen to her tell stories all damn day. She can do impressions, build up suspense, hit the right punchlines, paint a picture with words. She once described a scene from Step Brothers so well that when I actually watched the scene I was disappointed because Zee portrayed it better.
  8. 8.
    She's a mess
    Like it's almost stressful how much of a spaz she is. I worry about this sometimes.
  9. 9.
    Yet she totally has her shit together
    She was valedictorian of our HIGHLY competitive class because she's the smartest and hardest-working person in the world. She founded the first multi-racial club at her school. She's the video editor-in-chief of her newspaper. Last night she went to a frickin networking event! There's nothing she can't do!
  10. 10.
    She's basically everything to me and I'm the luckiest person in the whole entire world to get to call her my best friend and someday we're gonna rule the world.
  11. 11.
    I love ya