1. If I were you I would be freaking out right now
    My friend had to be completely out of her apartment in less than 12 hours and it looked like she had just had a house party full of gremlins tear the place to shreds. She said, "what a terrible thing to say!" And then told me to help her take her dishes down to the trash.
  2. Boo-boo boo-boo boo boo-boo
    It's formatted like that because that's how Siri translated after I talked into my phone's microphone. After my friend told me she was moving and could not participate in my improv show.
  3. Yeah, but you look great!
    The little black dress of condolences
  4. Do you have somebody you can call?
    If you're not equipped to handle a situation the best thing you can do is make sure someone else can! 😘
  5. I'm going to consider this under control
    Good follow-up response for an answer to the above question
  6. We are fucked
    Traffic tickets, late registration, missing deadlines, something being too expensive, an email not arriving exactly when you want it to ...it's always a great idea too go far fast especially when you can involve someone you care about. A.k.a. it's all up from here.