Texts From My Dad

  1. β€’
    Hey kiddo don't let Mom eat any gummy bears!
  2. β€’
    πŸ’β˜ΊοΈπŸπŸ’πŸ˜€
    Same???
  3. β€’
    Tunas or lions. Pick a side. Quick.
    I don't know lions I guess?
  4. β€’
    Have a good day in Moscow
    Never been to Russia...
  5. β€’
    The big question is, at which locale will a domesticated platypus be most welcome?
  6. β€’
    Moms not in a good mood
    Thanks for the warning
  7. β€’
    Me: You in town? Dad: Yah dawg Me: Perfect! What are you doing tonight at 6? Dad: Going to a rave, what else. Duh.
    Sure.
  8. β€’
    I vote pizza delivery and WAIT FOR IT..... Direct Friggin TV
    Sounds like a good night to me
  9. β€’
    No biggee......just chuzillin
  10. β€’
    Uuuuiuh......uh....uhhhhhh....uuuuh.
    He was making fun of the fact that I couldn't speak until I was 3
  11. β€’
    Or, I know not, Young Jedi. Do or do not. Try there is not.
  12. β€’
    Yah..let me noodle on it
    I wonder if this is what he tells clients
  13. β€’
    What's sheekin?
  14. β€’
    Heya Eeple, you talk to Stinkyweed today?
    All kinds of nicknames going on here
  15. β€’
    Dad: Looking forward to a good "forevasting" Me: What's forevasting? Dad: Old Nordic Holdiay celebrating October 12.
    A happy forevasting to all and to all a good night
  16. β€’
    Be one with the tiger
  17. β€’
    Noop. I mean, neep.
    Thanks for correcting yourself
  18. β€’
    Please add UB 40s live version of " Can't help falling in love with you" to the growing list of songs for my wake. (You be keepin da list, right mon?)
    Does the implied Jamaican accent make this less morbid?
  19. β€’
    Mmmmm, crepes (says Homeree LaSimpson)
    Anyone else's dad randomly send them incorrect quotes from animated TV shows and change the characters' names into French? No?
  20. β€’
    We like to mix it up here. We be crazy, we be.
  21. β€’
    Why you do dat grasshoppuh?
  22. β€’
    Dad: How's it going today Dobby? Me: Why am I Dobby? Dad: Don't know...maybe you need a sock???
    In fact I was wearing flip flops so...
  23. β€’
    Okey dokey billy gohlkee
  24. β€’
    I found a VISA Card....can I use it?
    Wait...what?
  25. β€’
    Tigers don't care about taxes
    He's not wrong
  26. β€’
    Nutmeg, basil, but NO OREGANO!!!!!!!!
    I'm intentionally not adding context. Let your imagination run wild
  27. β€’
    I have a knife. Is that ok?
    Definitely depends, please elaborate