1. Her nickname is Barefoot Contessa which is royal yet earthy.
  2. She has a kickass relationship where she only spends half the week with her husband. #relationshipgoals
  3. She encourages you to use "good" ingredients, somehow knowing that you've purchased the cheap shitty kind.
  4. She only is friends with older gay men who have made up jobs like "tablescapist" or "member of the Hamptons historical society" and wear pastel cashmere sweaters
  5. She asks her local food purveyors for recommendations and then ignores them and picks whatever she wants because she's knows better than they do.
  6. Her Le Creuset sets don't match because she's wild like that.
  7. She loves a cocktail. And a glass of wine.
  8. She wears men's button-up shirts with the collar popped ... AND SHE PULLS IT OFF
  9. She loves to punctuate a REALLY difficult maneuver like flipping an omelette by saying "how easy is that?!" It's kinda bitchy but also fabulous.
  10. She uses this bizarre tool called a food mill to make mashed potatoes because it gives them the "perfect texture."
  11. She encourages you to use fresh herbs from your garden, and if you don't have an herb garden then 😞
  12. She started her career as a nuclear budget analyst in Washington DC!
  13. She doesn't ever put ice in her cocktails and I have a theory it's because she doesn't want melting ice to dilute the flavor of the cocktail.
  14. I've seen her cook countless meals and never seen her even acknowledge the idea of "doing dishes"
  15. She ACTUALLY has a pied a terre
  16. She's gotten a massage every Sunday at 6pm for the last 27 years
    Suggested by @mollyyeh
  17. She lives in the Hamptons AND her recipes are legit great
    Suggested by @ruddybuddy