BOOKS THAT I WILL GIVE MY DAUGHTER, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

Who doesn't exist yet
  1. All of the Moomintroll books, Tove Jannson
    Just for that whole beginning part. It's just Moomintrolls and The Beatles for that baby for like 5 years.
  2. The Chrestomanci Series, Diana Wynne Jones
    When she finishes Harry Potter and wants to read WAY better fantasy.
  3. Franny and Zooey, JD Salinger
    When she is teenager and therefore really sad.
  4. Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen
    When she needs to learn some fucking manners and also how to make fun of people without them realizing it.
  5. Weetzie Bat, Francesca Lia Block
    When she is a preteen and complains that she doesn't like LA.
  6. The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
    When she is still sad and still a teenager.
  7. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
    When she's kind of mean to me.
  8. Near to the Wild Heart, Clarice Lispector
    When she's going to college, so that she will have unreasonable expectations of what can be done by women that are still in school.
  9. Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller
    Also when she's going to college, so she knows who to avoid.
  10. Nightwood, Djuna Barnes
    When she's exploring her sexuality.
  11. The Taverner Novels, Mary Butts
    When she goes through her Wiccan phase.
  12. I Love Dick, Chris Kraus
    When she has her first really ill-fated crush on a douchebag.
  13. Bad Behavior, Mary Gaitskill
    When some idiot slut-shames her.
  14. "Paris: A Poem" Hope Mirlees
    When she studies abroad.
  15. The Group, Mary McCarthy
    When she graduates from college.
  16. The Pilgrimage Novels, Dorothy Richardson
    When she has no idea what the fuck she's doing.
  17. Testament of Youth, Vera Brittain
    When she's complaining about her unpaid internship.
  18. Speedboat, Renata Adler
    When she has her first job after college.
  19. Portrait of a Lady, Henry James
    Whenever.