THOUGHTS WHILE BABYSITTING AFTER THE CHILD HAS GONE TO SLEEP

Spending my Saturday night watching a 7-year old girl, or rather watching the house for 5 hours after she went to bed at 8:15
  1. Why do they only have healthy food?
    Seriously? Quinoa? Greek Yogurt? Where are the chips?
  2. How do I turn on this TV?
    It's the long remote, right? Wait, maybe it's the super short one with like 3 buttons
  3. Oh shit, it's on.
    Do I watch Netflix? No, then they'll see I was on it and judge me for watching Jane the Virgin. Guess I'll just watch cable. Wait, these channels are all different than the ones at home.
  4. I'm kind of getting tired
    Can I just take a quick nap before they get home? Maybe set an alarm for 10 minutes before 12?
  5. Guess I'll just read the book the girl was reading earlier
    Then I'll look studious and not like a couch-potato
  6. Wait, why was a 7 year old girl reading this?
  7. Alright, nap time it is.