SOME OF MY CHILDHOOD FEARS

In no particular order
  1. Tornadoes
    Literally you could not say the word around me or I would freeze up. My stress dreams all involved tornadoes as a child. I learned the difference between a watch and a warning earlier than anyone else I knew. And they are spontaneous swirly cyclones of death, so why shouldn't I have lived in fear?
  2. Paper
    It started as a fear of paper cuts. And then suddenly every time someone was passing back a paper in elementary school, I had to overcome crippling nerves and carefully grab the paper like I was Indiana Jones trying to steal an artifact at the beginning of my blockbuster trilogy (what do you mean, fourth movie?)
  3. Hell
    Big one. Used to kinda half-wish I'd die early because I thought kids got a free pass into heaven.
  4. My decorative Barbies
    I had those "special" Barbies that just sat on a shelf (I played with them anyway, cause I'm a rebel), and at night their silhouettes would appear to move. Wtf.
  5. My friend Gabbie's Great Danes
    They would rush you when you walked in her house. Keep in mind that when this is happening, they are the same size as me. And of course your instinct is to jump back or run, but then her mom screams at you "don't run or they'll tackle you," possibly the least assuring and least helpful advice on the planet.