JOKES NO ONE APPRECIATED WHEN I MADE THEM ON TWITTER
I've tweeted roughly 7000 times, so this list is only a small sampling. I'll add more as they fail to make anyone laugh.
- •Oh the mermanityThe cruelty of canines
- •Dat melon d'eauRelies on a dual-language homonym requiring a passing knowledge of French pronunciation and shit Millenuals say.
- •In the town where I was shorn / lived a man, who failed to see / And he told me of his wife / In the land of nectarinesA series of three nonsensical riffs on "Yellow Submarine."
- •"Hashtag Family"I was dealing with a rodent issue. The hair did not help.
- •At least call it "toast" or "sand."I have an unpublished essay written as an open letter to an old friend and featuring the line, "Your house appears to have a lot of beige in it."
- •Wanted: CatOk, so three people liked this one. Also related to the aforementioned rodent issue.
- •FoxtrotDon't give a foxtrot.