JOKES NO ONE APPRECIATED WHEN I MADE THEM ON TWITTER, VOLUME 3

  1. Pinned tweet and possibly the root of the issue
  2. How is this not viral?
  3. More of a threat than a joke
  4. Just being real re: "gender reveal" parties
  5. Joking/not joking
  6. Chili!
  7. Parenting amirite
  8. So good and gone so fast
  9. Joking/not joking
  10. A joke full of sadness
  11. One day I'll get to 100%. One step at a time.
  12. My reaction to most parenting articles, always said with high dudgeon.
  13. Ok, not my best work
  14. Delicious and hilarious
  15. I choose to believe it was the typo's fault.
  16. I've rebuilt my collection in the ensuing days.
  17. This was a part of a series of tweets about how I was choosing to go to bed instead of writing a blackout poem about cannibalism.
  18. Mah-widge
  19. I am ridiculous on Twitter and every single tweet gets sent to my mother-in-law as a text message but you know, "write like your parents are dead" and all that
  20. And the croquet comes really late, almost last thing, in that movie.
  21. Thanks honey!
  22. Life with children
  23. Pretending to be hip or unhip or ???