EMAILS I DID NOT EARN
If Tom Hanks had told me to earn this at the end of Saving Private Ryan I would have failed him miserably.
- •"Yankees MVP Customer Alert!"I haven't been to a Yankee game in seven years, and haven't purchased merchandise in five. I can't accept any deals meant for MVP's
- •"Inside The Rings: Audi Experience"Listen, I'd love an Audi. The Audi Allroad has been my dream since I was in high school. But I don't own an Audi. I have a 2009 VW, stop rubbing it in
- •"Welcome to the VSCO Community"I guess I had earned it upon receipt, but in hindsight there's no way they should have welcomed me since I haven't used the app since that first day
- •"Roshe NM Fleece Pack Navy / Mint"I sent this email to myself as a reminder when this pair of sneakers would go on sale. Except the reminder didn't work and by the time I remembered I was two hours late and they were sold out
- •"Circuit Works Important Message"Was my gym closing? A trainer leaving? Oh wait, what's that? You forgot to charge me $2 for water and are going to charge my card now? Um, sure...let's dial down the use of 'important' though. This one was not earned by either of us
- •"Your Petco Reward Dollars Are Here - You Earned It!"Nah, I didn't though