THE EMOTIONAL STAGES POST ONE NIGHT STAND

The good the bad and the morning after ugly
  1. The gloat
    Got 'em. I'm a sexy fulfilled woman. Yeah you on that street corner, judge my walk of pride. I might even have a hickey! Swag, baby.
  2. The recap
    Story time. Morning report with the crew. Sexual fulfillment fresh I still feel like the man, albeit a little out-of-body. But giggle giggle wasn't the whole way this happened silly and perfectly absurd!?
  3. The doubt
    Ugh. That one curmudgeon was at brunch and didn't lol at my sexual conquest. Aren't I a little old for sex with strangers?
  4. The rebuttal
    But fuck her. Susie is boring. All adventurous women do. Suck it, Susie.
  5. The Sunday scaries
    The story is oversold. I'm home in bed in the dark alone. Why me why why who do I think I am!? Ew. Abort all future missions. Ugh I'm probably STD/baby riddled and deservedly so. I am going to be single forever. No one dates their one night stand! And fuck Carrie for getting engaged. And EVERYTHING UUgHhHhH
  6. The pendulum
    A slight vibration. I remove my head from under the covers to.. A TEXT FROM HIM!!! Ok fine I'm not the worst sluttiest human in all of NYC or the world. I'm adventurous! I'm a twenty something! And baby, I'm back! Ok so we'll probably go on a date weds. And like def fall in love. I hope I can move in that apartment was dope. I knew he would like me for my wit and charm and mom-bod! Aaaaaalls good.
  7. The compulsion
    I sent that text how long ago? Just five minutes. Well now it's been an hour. He must be at the gym. Maybe showering. But wait it's a Tuesday. Maybe work is busy. Now it's been three hours. Maybe his phone is dead. Maybe my phone is dead. Shoot, what if HE is dead!?
  8. The reminder
    Wait, didn't his texts like kind of creep me out? Isn't he a little old anyway? He was awfully sweaty during sex. And ew he took home a stranger, how dangerous!
  9. The promise
    This is insane. It never happened. Number deleted from phone. Take that! Outta sight outta mind. Ugh fuck this I'm becoming a nun. Someone hand me the ice cream and a glass of wine. Celibacy feels like the right path for me. Who needs 'em anyway?