UPCOMING HEADLINES I EXPECT TO SEE WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR CONCERNING BEN CARSON

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson has a lot of silly beliefs. He's got a whole year to announce more before the upcoming election. Here are a couple predictions!
  1. Ben Carson adds Geology and Astronomy to his ever growing list of valid sciences he doesn't believe in
  2. Ben Carson proposes to replace Planned Parenthood sites with designated Abstinence Clinics
  3. Ben Carson proves God's existence by questioning the natural possibility of a rainbow
  4. Ben Carson believes masturbation causes blindness
    Whoops, this one already happened (this man is an actual doctor)
  5. Ben Carson fixes political correctness by ignoring it
  6. Ben Carson wins republican debate by not screaming/being the only sane acting person
  7. Ben Carson denounces same sex relationships; still avidly watches OITNB
  8. Ben Carson proposes to fix economy by switching our currency to the God Dollar
  9. Ben Carson believes Joseph built the pyramids to store grain
    Uh oh, this one also already happened (this man wants to run our country)
  10. Ben Carson argues against Trump's wall idea; instead proposes funding a big telescope to search for heaven
  11. Ben Carson loses license to practice medicine