- •Watching ex on the beach, half way through and the first comment he makes is,'thats's w nice garden.' Second though: 'it's wasted on them.'
- •I reckon I could be on this show. If I get some muscles, some tattoos, shit hair and a bad attitude.
- •I'm starting my new show- Mikey's Slag Race (inspired by Ru Paul's Drag Race)
- •'They've got a MASSIVE sound system in there'... about the church
- •I'd like it if you started dressing like an air hostess.
- •'I like it when the ladies do it' on the airplane safety announcements