The seven major crushes of my life and why I am still single.
  1. Heather (2nd grade thru 5th grade)
    Blonde hair, blue eyes. She said yes when I finally asked her out in fifth grade then dumped me two days later when one of my "friends" asked her out.
  2. Becky (7th and 8th grades)
    One of my friends decided to share with the rest of the world my crush on her on Valentine's Day in seventh grade. From that day until the end of eighth grade, everyone, including a couple teachers, kept pushing me to talk to her even though she was clearly not interested.
  3. Christina (12th grade)
    She was shy and I was too traumatized from the Becky experience to make a move.
  4. Christine (First adulthood crush)
    She was a co-worker at my first job. She was the spitting image of Christina, but ten years older than me and oh, she was married.
  5. Jolene
    She came right on the heels of My Christine crush. She was also co-worker, ten years older and married, but she had a daughter.
  6. Carron
    At my second job, I decided to change it up a little. She was only eight years older, still married and had two children.
  7. My current crush will stay nameless
    But she's way younger than me, single with no kids, but lives very far away and in my bumbling attempts to woo her, she thinks I'm a crazy psycho stalker.